Why do people feel inadequate

In a paper, two researchers from Stockholm University examined participants and found that those diagnosed with exhaustion, cardiac issues, or immunological disease scored significantly higher on measures of contingent self-esteem than healthy controls. A recent study also found that those whose self-esteem is contingent on power experience less well-being , and this relationship is at least partially driven by them feeling less authentic in who they are.

Too often, we want people to like us or want to come across as having it all together, so we end up trying too hard. But in pushing so hard to be our best, we subtly tell ourselves that being just as we are is insufficient. Instead, just be yourself.

The solution? That means allowing yourself to have some bad hair days, lazy workdays, awkward conversation moments, relationship stumbles, and any number of perfectly normal experiences without judging yourself 7. People who advertise their seemingly perfect lives are similar—a mix of intimidating and oddly boring. Things are finished. The story is over. And how stifling is that? This episode was originally written by Dr.

Ellen Hendriksen. It has been substantially updated by Dr. Jade Wu. All content here is for informational purposes only. This content does not replace the professional judgment of your own mental health provider. Please consult a licensed mental health professional for all individual questions and issues. You are not the reflection of your negative thoughts and what you can do is to counter them towards the positive side of things.

There will always be people who are better than you in every way, but you must avoid competing against them. Comparison will steal your joy faster than anything else. We all have achievements that we sometimes either forget or fail to acknowledge. You need to stop overthinking each detail such as whether you submitted the perfect project or you were an adequate friend today.

If your feelings of inadequacy are getting too overwhelming to bear, talking to someone you trust can help release some of these difficult feelings in your chest. However, the good news is that confidence and self-esteem, like a muscle, can be exercised and made stronger over time. If you want to learn how to cope with feeling inadequate and want to lead a life where you feel better about yourself and more confident in your abilities, here is how you become the confident person that you are looking to be.

If you feel inadequate, chances are that these feelings of inadequacy have developed in the past. Like other personal qualities, low self-esteem is often cultivated over time although you may be dealing with a mental health disorder that is causing these distorted feelings of self. As was stated above, low self-esteem and feeling inadequate can sometimes stem from mood disorders such as depression, which can warp your thoughts and might cause you to feel as though you are worthless or useless.

If this is what is causing you to feel inadequate, it is recommended that you seek help to reduce depressive symptoms. However, you may also feel inadequate because of things you have experienced early in life or throughout your life. Some common causes of low self-esteem and confidence may include the following:. Understanding exactly where your feeling of inadequacy is coming from can make it easier for you to figure out how to move forward and build your confidence.

But where can you start? The most important thing to remember when you are figuring out how to cope with feeling inadequate is that you are in control of your narrative. No matter what you have been through in the past, you are the writer of your own story. Things that impacted you in the past have no hold over you now.

Once you understand why you felt inadequate, you can work toward dealing with those root causes and building yourself up from there. Take some time to consider what may be the underlying reasons behind your feeling of inadequacy, remembering that you are ultimately in control of how you feel and perceive yourself. Use this as the launching pad toward becoming the confident person that you are looking to be. Armed with the knowledge of why you may feel inadequate and that you are ultimately in control of how you feel from here, the next step is to take action on this knowledge so that you can build your confidence and your self-esteem.

For most people, this can be the most difficult part of the process. Where do you start? The process of change starts with awareness and then moves forward by making small changes to your habits and personal beliefs, and lastly, continues throughout the rest of your life as you build and maintain those changes.

For people who have never had strong self-esteem, this can be especially difficult. Fortunately, developing stronger self-esteem and coping with feelings of inadequacy is possible. Here are some ways you can begin making positive changes. Start Talking To Yourself Positively : How we speak to ourselves makes a major difference in how we feel about ourselves.

For example, if you actively believe that you are bad, unworthy, ugly, or any of the things that are contributing to your self-esteem, you are going to feel that way about yourself consistently. Changing your self-perception begins with changing the way you talk to yourself.

Make more of an effort to speak to yourself with kindness and empathy. You can do this in the mirror when you are getting ready to go somewhere by repeating positive affirmations or statements about yourself. The more positive self-talk you believe in, the more you are going to see yourself in a better light. If you are constantly consuming media that reinforces the idea that you are not enough, you will internalize and reinforce these feelings on your own.